The Boy Child, Low Self-Esteem, and the Dangers It Poses
On May 16, 2025, the world celebrated the International Day of the Boy Child under the theme "Building Self-Esteem in Boys," with rallying messages such as "Stand Up, Be Heard, Be Seen." This global observance highlights the critical importance of boys’ well-being, acknowledges the unique challenges they face, and celebrates their positive contributions to families and communities. At the Cope and Live Mental Health Awareness Foundation, we recognize that fostering self-esteem and holistic wellness in boys is essential for their development and the health of society. This article explores the challenges of low self-esteem in boys, its far-reaching consequences, and the urgent need for parents, guardians, and stakeholders to act.
Who Is the Boy Child?
A boy child is a male in the childhood or adolescent stage, typically under the age of adulthood. Beyond academic definitions, the boy child represents potential—a future leader, partner, and contributor to society. However, this potential can be undermined by challenges that erode self-esteem, defined as confidence in one’s worth and abilities, and well-being, the state of being healthy, comfortable, and happy. For boys to embody the call to "Stand Up, Be Heard, Be Seen," their self-esteem and mental health must be prioritized.
The Challenges Facing the Boy Child
Research underscores that boys face significant socio-economic and emotional challenges that, if unaddressed, threaten societal stability. Boys constitute a large proportion of out-of-school children globally, exposing them to risky behaviors such as substance abuse, gang involvement, and recruitment into organized criminal groups. Unlike their female counterparts, boys often receive less emotional and social support, leaving them to navigate survival with minimal guidance. This neglect fosters low self-esteem, manifesting as indecision, lack of confidence, and vulnerability to negative influences.
Low self-esteem in boys has profound mental and emotional impacts. It hinders their ability to make choices, take responsibility, or lead effectively, often persisting into adulthood. For instance, boys struggling with self-worth may join groups seeking validation, increasing their risk of criminal behavior. The societal expectation for boys to "tough it out" exacerbates these issues, leaving them unsupported and ill-equipped to handle challenges, which can lead to marital difficulties, domestic violence, and other social ills later in life.
Why the Boy Child Must Be Supported
The boy child is a future adult whose mental and emotional health will shape society’s fabric. Boys with low self-esteem risk becoming misfits, unable to fulfill roles as responsible partners, parents, or leaders. Conversely, boys equipped with resilience, social skills, and confidence contribute to stable families and communities. Teaching boys survival skills—such as cooking or financial literacy—without gender stereotypes fosters independence and self-worth. Moreover, encouraging open inquiry, where boys feel safe to ask questions without fear of judgment, builds critical thinking, confidence, and trust, aligning with our mission to nurture curiosity and lifelong learning.
Parental and Societal Responsibilities
Parents, guardians, and caregivers play a pivotal role in building boys’ self-esteem. They must avoid comparisons and unhealthy rivalries that diminish a boy’s sense of worth. Instead, they should provide mentorship in leadership, decision-making, and human relations, allowing boys to learn from mistakes and grow into champions. An African proverb reminds us that the home is a child’s first environment, making parental involvement critical. Parents should guide boys in making choices, from small decisions to significant life steps, rather than imposing decisions, such as career or marital paths, which can stifle autonomy.
Fostering open dialogue is equally vital. By creating spaces where boys’ questions are welcomed with patience, parents empower them to explore, reason, and develop resilience. This approach not only enhances self-esteem but also addresses root causes of issues like sexual and gender-based violence, which often stem from unaddressed emotional struggles in boys. Governments and stakeholders must complement these efforts by investing in mental health programs, school-based support, and community initiatives that identify and address boys’ struggles early.
The Path Forward
The time to act is now. A society’s strength depends on the mental and emotional well-being of its boys. By prioritizing their self-esteem and holistic wellness, we can prevent the dangers of low self-esteem, including crime, family breakdown, and societal instability. At Cope and Live Mental Health Awareness Foundation, we are committed to this cause through our counseling, multi-sport initiatives, and COLI Academy’s accredited training programs, which reached over 10,000 individuals in 2024. We call on parents, educators, and policymakers to join us in ensuring boys are heard, seen, and supported to stand tall.
Let us build a future where every boy child is empowered to thrive. Contact us to learn how you can contribute to this vital mission.
About the Author
Coach Ebere Amaraizu is a trained Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Coach, a PREVENT Serious and Organized Crime (SOC) Policing Expert/Trainer, a United States International Visitors Leadership Program (IVLP) alumnus, and a child care/development expert. His work focuses on empowering youth and communities through mental health advocacy and resilience-building.
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